Dick Diary #2 Stephen



I’m really happy women are bonding, finding their collective voice, standing together in the #MeToo movement. No doubt there remain copious amounts of women who have a story of abuse, harassment or worse. Every time they hear #MeToo something is triggered within.  Maybe this time they’ll say something.

The truly sad part is… it’s not just women.

And not to lessen or demean any women’s experience, but being a man is even harder to stand-up and say, #MeToo.

You’d be surprised how many of us are out there. And it’s not just, let’s say – “more vulnerable types” of men. It’s big hearty “men’s men” as well. I know. I was one of them.

Oh, wow… this is harder than I thought. I don’t know if I can do this. Give me a minute. (pause)

For me  – a big macho football playing heterosexual…  I was drunk. Very drunk. It was a party with hundreds of people – men and women. I remember getting the most amazing blow job in the bathroom by this waitress that wanted to be an actress and thought that I was a director. I don’t remember the exact date or the exact location or what the party was for …but I remember that it was an insane party. And, I got drunk and probably a little more than a little high.

I woke up in a bed with a cock in my ass.

I woke up unsure where I was and uncertain as to my discomfort. And then I realized there was a man grinding in me from the rear. Slowly I began to comprehend my situation. And, when I realized who it was, I was stunned silent. He was someone I trusted. I was actually attracted to his wife. He was someone I was counting on for work, which I desperately needed.

I didn’t know what to say or what to do. I looked away. I pulled the sheet around me as I sat up. I rubbed my face stalling for time to think. I simply got up. Put on my pants, walked into the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. I walked out, consumed in shame.

Over the years, as I have heard other men come forward, I also heard what my friends really thought. I knew I could never say anything.  I survived. It was a long time ago.

But, every time I hear or see # MeToo, I am brought right back to that moment. I was violated. Yes, I was drunk. And I’ll even own that perhaps I flirted somewhat with both men and women in my own cocky, playful way. But, I didn’t deserve to be violated without my permission.

So, I hear you ladies. I hear your anger. I hear your pain. But, remember that every time 10 or 100 women speak out, there’s a man not brave enough to say… #MeToo.

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