I recently attending The Brant Foundation Art Study Center’s fall exhibition which featured the art of Jason Rhoades.  I entered the main room and was delighted by hundreds of words expressed in Neon. I like Neon. I read the words… Furry Horse Collar… Oak Tree Planter… Chopped Liver.  It was very nice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbaYWuQpMmA

Then, it was explained to me that the neon words was actually a collection of 96 names for the Vagina.

What was very nice, was now awesome! Suddenly it all took on greater meaning and a much more vibrant and humorous experience.   Words like Twat Waffle or Snail Whistle blazed like a neon sign, well, it actually was a neon sign, but funny how I missed it before? It occurred to me that Mr Rhoades must have started with a list. With that, it inspired me to create my own list for Dick…

113 Names for the Penis:

Boy Juice Box

Totem Pole

Shaft (shut yo mouth)

Redneck Fishing Pole

Mission Control

Father John

Rain Stick

Hammerhead

Hercules

Sticky Lollipop

Doctor Feelgood

Lightsaber

Mr Wizard

Twinkie

Tim

Rocky

Willie Johnson

Governor

Dip Stick

Fat Elvis

Jam

The Flying Dutchman

Grim Reaper

Javelin

Maestro

Pokemon

Uncle Boo Boo

Junk

Snickers

Seed Spitter

St Peter

One-eyed Trouser Snake

Sidewinder

Flag Pole Freddie

Missile Man

Skyscraper

Connical Scanner

Cherry Pop Over

Pocket Rocket

Attila

Nasa

Samuel Jackson

Tallywacker

Dow Jones

Heat Seeking Missile

Jacob’s Ladder

Too Much Garlic

Willie’s Wonka

Homing Pigeon

‘shroom

Gravy Master

Redwood

Walking Stick

Trombone

Tandem

Beef Kabob

Ticonderoga #2

Frankenfurter

Oil Rig

Crusty Helmet

Lamp Post

Obelisk

Cattle Prod

Damien

The Torch

Jungle Jim

The Professor (aka The Brains)

Tricky Dick

Wiki Leak

Rock Hard

Harvey Wallbanger

Boff Machine

Elephant Trunk

Magic Flute

Chief of Staff

Moby

Mr Happy

Powerball

Bratwurst

Cave Dweller

Bed-n-Breakfast

Womb Warrior

Fluffernutter

Eye of the Needle

Tarzan

Burrito Supreme

Tongue Depressor

Growth Opportunity

Mr Cheney

The Baguette

Ahab’s Harpoon

Hot Dog Stand

Speak into the Microphone

Skippy the Wonder Dog

Chopstick

Shazam

Pipeline

Roy Moore

Foul Ball

Drooling Cyclops

Branch Manager

Wife Beater

Chance

Titty Fucker

Monolithic

One-eyed Bandit

Dean Wormer

Captain Fabulous

Spearhead Warrior

Jack Hammer

Eiffel Tower

Mr Friendly

PeePee Longstocking

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